Lack of love stems directly from having sin in our lives. The passage of scripture described as ‘the greatest commandment’ speaks to loving God with all our heart, soul and mind. This type of love goes beyond mere appreciation and emotion. It inspires obedience to the will of God.
Disobedience is an indication of the lack of love we have for God. Failure to let go of sin shows that we truly do not love God the way we should. Loving God is extremely important because He is love. He consistently demonstrates His love towards us through His actions. His words and actions towards us should help us to form a deeper bond of love with God.
The love of God transforms individuals who are dead in sin into vibrant, living souls. We are saved by His grace, which is unmerited. We have all sinned and come short of His glory. This indicates that we deserve to die. However, because of God’s incredible love for us, He sent his only son to die so that we might live.
In addition to saving our lives, the love of God helps us to have a deep relationship with Him. It transforms us from being mere sinners into children of the Most High God. He continues to love us in this life and wants to love us for eternity.
Sinning against God shows a lack of love for Him. Loving God inspires us to be obedient to His will. Therefore, your love for God must continue to grow in order to overcome sin. Remembering the sacrifices God has made to show you His love can help you to remain obedient. Ensure your words and deeds demonstrate your love for God on a daily basis.
The Effects of Feeling a Lack of Love from Others
The feeling of being unloved can adversely affect an individual. There are many reasons individuals feel unloved or unworthy of being love. An individual may have been taught that he or she is dreadful and undeserving of love. There are individuals who are, for one reason or the other, hard to love. However, the feeling of being unloved typically stems from a lack of self-confidence because of early misfortune.
There is a variety of ways in which an individual who feels unloved could react. He or she could desperately try to win affection. This may be done by being exceptionally kind to others. However, this could be unsuccessful as the motive for kindness would not be pure. Beneficiaries are usually able to discern insincere acts of kindness. It is also human nature to more readily give affection to less demanding individuals.
This could cause the individual to become disillusioned by the ingratitude. It may not occur to him that the material benefits he offers is of far less value than the affection he or she is trying to gain.
Instead of seeking to buy affection, other unloved individuals may become revengeful. They could stir up revolutions and wars, making life miserable for many. The feeling of being one man or one woman against the world can be quite destructive. It could be destructive to self and others.
Consequences of the Lack of Love
Lack of love can also be manifested as distrust and in other negative ways. These include:
Anxiety is one of the stages of distrust. It breeds feelings of uneasiness or apprehension. This is usually manifested physically. Having to deal with someone you do not quite trust, could conjure up feelings of nervousness. The individual could also experience anger, rapid heartbeats, disgust and knots in the stomach.
Doubt causes slight uncertainty regarding the trustworthiness of others. It can linger in the back of your mind and you just cannot dismiss it. In certain situations, something often does not feel right, even though you can’t exactly identify what is amiss.
Over time, unresolved doubt will grow into suspicion. Suspicion is essentially belief with no proof. You’ve begun to notice a pattern of behavior that could be a lack of trust. However, you cannot make a firm conclusion because you do not have enough proof.
At this stage of distrust, you will be afraid to show any vulnerability. Trust would have been breached repeatedly. At this point, the distrust would be so great, you will fear for your emotional well-being.
Fear typically moves you into a self-protection mode. Walls are erected in your relationship to prevent a certain level of closeness. Self-preservation serves to reduce vulnerability. However, it cements distrust.
Trust binds individuals together in a relationship. Whenever trust is severed, major disconnection takes place. If you can no longer show your vulnerabilities, you will start to experience different things, such as:
Movement to Task
As compensation for the distrust in the relationship, you could end up over-investing in tasks related to hobbies, school, church, work or other activities. You will likely place focus on other aspects of your life since it is easier to do than try to connect. This effectively shuts down the personal aspect of your relationship.
Instead of a carefree vibe that exists in a trusting relationship, sharing personal information becomes difficult. You stop taking risks because of the removal of the safety net in the relationship. It then becomes common to feel lonely or frozen or dead on the inside.
Development of Bad Habits
Distrust can lead to problematic behavior. It is easy to try to suppress our emotions by engaging in destructive behaviors. These include drinking too much, over-eating and abusing drugs.
Unbalanced “giver” Relationships
Studies have shown that it is common for an individual to be the giver in their relationships to avoid being a receiver. As the giver, you are allowed to escape being vulnerable. You will listen, guide and help others. However, you will not allow others to help you. Additionally, being the giver surfaces in co-dependent relationships.
The effects of lack of love and distrust can destroy a relationship similar to a wildfire. Starting as a small ember of doubt, distrust can become a full-on blaze. To prevent this from happening, early steps have to be taken to address it. To prevent distrust from taking root, focus must be placed on proactively building trust. Throughout the course of the relationship, both parties need to continually develop and nurture trust. Do not wait until it is damaged to try and fix it.
Lack of Love and Insecurity
Individuals who feel secure in their relationships are happier than people who feel insecure. Having a sense of security heightens the feeling of safety. When you feel safe, you are more willing to take on new tasks to benefit your relationships. In addition, security builds self-confidence. Generally, having self-confidence in life will open you up to new adventures. It also makes you happier in different aspects of your life.
Receiving love and affection brings about a sense of security. However, when love is reciprocal, it makes you feel even more secure. Life becomes zestful when we receive attention, admiration and affection. Without these, some people could become self-centered and discontented.
A child who has parents who shower him/her with love and affection sees this as a natural thing. Even though it is essential to his/her happiness and well-being, it is not thought about very much. As the child grows, he/she thinks about the adventures that have been experienced and those to come. The security that comes from parental affection allows the child to feel safe and protected.
However, not all affection encourages a sense of adventure. The affection of some parents is manifested through possessiveness and over-protectiveness. This timid type of affection does not typically promote a quest for excellence. The timid parent who consistently warns the child about the dangers of everyday living could end up raising a timid adult.
Other parents crave the dependence of their children. As such, they try to keep the child dependent for as long as they can. This can hinder the child’s capacity to cope with happenings in the world. This could also end up placing the child in the same position as those who experience a lack of love.
Habits formed in the formative years are highly likely to carry through to adulthood. Some people will look for relationships similar to the ones they had with their parents. This could become difficult as being overly clingy could adversely affect the union.
Additionally, there are some men who want their partners to take care of their every need. They essentially want their spouses to provide the same type of services their mothers previously performed. This could become extremely problematic, especially if both parties work outside the home.
Defining the best type of affection can be difficult since a protective element should be involved. When the people we love get hurt, we are not indifferent to it. However, it is important to find the healthy balance between being protective and being overprotective. Being apprehensive about something that could happen should not prevent a child from living a ‘normal’ life. Bad things inevitably happen in life. The best we can do is offer sympathy and comfort to make the situation easier to handle.
Possessiveness is basically camouflaged fear. The Bible, in 2 Timothy 1: 7, tells us that God did not give us a spirit a fear. What He wants from His people is a spirit of power, love and a sound mind. Raising a human being who is knowledgeable of life’s dangers should be the aim. However, that individual should be encouraged to exercise caution but live life to its fullest.
Remaining Trustful and Loving in an Untrustworthy World
Being trustful in a world where people show signs of untrustworthiness can be difficult. However, it is not impossible. As individuals, most of us tend to extend trust and expect it to be reciprocated; sometimes this is not the case. Do not allow this reality to make you distrustful of everyone. Instead, you can simply dial back the level of trust placed in that particular individual. Take note of the patterns of unreliability and act accordingly.
Look out for signs like missed deadlines, broken promised and uncaring or unethical behavior. However, do not allow these behaviors to promote a lack of love towards that individual. Simply take your cues from the patterns of unreliability and know what to expect in the future.
Repairing the Breach
Through His love and great power, God has created an amazingly beautiful world. Many generations have benefited and are currently benefiting from His providential care. In this space, we have the opportunity to thrive and be happy. However, sin has cause discord and distrust among the inhabitants of the earth. Fortunately, through obedience and following Godly examples, we can be true representations of God’s love in action. The lack of love among individuals has had many destructive consequences.
Sadly, even close relationships are being destroyed by a lack of love. The many consequences that result are severely affecting people every day. Lives are being destroyed by the things some people do to fill the loveless void in their lives. We should do our best to display the love of God to our fellowmen. This can do wonders in repairing the breach in broken relationships. It takes time for doubt, suspicion and other stages of distrust to develop. Therefore, it will take time to rebuild trust that has been shattered. However, with hard work, determination and a willingness to make things right, distrust can be eradicated from your relationships.
Only an abundance of love can completely eradicate the lack of love in our homes and wider society. Additionally, only love can wipe out the feelings of distrust and hatred. With the help of God, we can start to heal our broken relationships. However, we need to be prepared to go the distance. Eradicating distrust will take time, patience and love. Invite the help of the Lord and you will be successful in re-establishing trust. Nothing is impossible with God.
The Root of the Problem
Feelings People Confuse With Love
Love Or Passion Which Are You Feeling
5 Stages of Distrust and How it Destroys Your Relationships
Lack of Affection: The Causes and Effects of Feeling Unloved